While your parents went to IKEA in Massachusetts, you, Ainsley and Madigan hung out with Grammy and me at our house.  After filling hungry bellies with Patty B’s yummy italian food, everyone got busy.

You hustled down to the basement and came back with two board games – the classic Dark Tower we dearly love, and one that’s been sitting idly that I’ve never played: Axis & Allies.  I was thinking to myself “Hmm, ambitious.  We have maybe five hours before your parents return.”

Ainsley did her nightly thing of remote game playing with Molly – this time setting up shop in my office.  Madigan wanted to play a board game too, so we visited our basement retail store; she selected Don’t Wake Daddy, a kid classic.  Grammy helped her play it and it soon became a Maddie favorite.

I’m a huge history buff and game lover, so Axis & Allies seemed like a no brainer when I bought it.  Recreate World War II and see who conquers the globe.  United States, United Kingdom and Russia vs. Germany & Japan.  You took over the good guys (3 nations); I hung out with the two bad guys.  Everything seemed chipper, upbeat and rosy.  A new board game we’ve never played before – how cool!!

Then we took the cover off the game.

Holy crap! 

I’ve never seen so many pieces in one game. Until now, RISK held the prize for most complicated and longest game with the most accessories.  Axis & Allies blew it out of the water.  It took us over two hours – just to set it up!

I had begun by reading the directions out loud so you could hear and react, but soon grew flustered: the manual was 40 pages long!   We soon learned that each turn by each nation required seven different steps.  It was taking a half hour for just the first nation to get through its turn.

The more I tried to figure things out, the more confused I got.  There were layers and layers of details, many instructions in print so tiny I needed reading glasses full time. You sensed my sad situation and asserted yourself in a kind, loving way, taking over the game and being my patient guide.

You actually figured things out.  I gotta tell you, I was blown away.  I’ve always considered myself a board gamer, but Axis & Allies had beaten me into submission.  It took my intelligent soon-to-be 11 year old grandson to wrestle the alligator and tape its mouth shut with duct tape (that’s a euphemism for what you accomplished).  If it had been up to me, the alligator would have eaten me whole.  You saved my life dude.

Four hours into things, we had completed one round of play with each of the five nations going just one turn.

An hour later, your Mom & Dad walked in. The movie Grammy and the girls were watching seemed easy and fun: Peter Rabbit.  You were interested, but needed closure on the game.  We went back to the table.  My head was swimming, but I made my last move with Japan capturing Los Angeles. You followed with the United States capturing Tokyo.  Two bold moves that never happened in the real WWII.  Kind of cool. Imagine if the Axis nations had really won that war!  How would the world be different today?

If we played this game to the end, it would take us a few days to complete.

Then again, it could be a week.

Maybe one month.

Possibly an entire year.

It’s a darn good thing you were at my side.

I tell you, the guy who invented Axis & Allies is a sadist.  I’m exhausted.